They say it takes a whole village to raise a child. That is only part of the story. There are always primary caregivers, and then the whole support system that helps them raise a child. It is not necessarily biological parents who are the primary caregivers. In the story of Jesus’ birth there was a ‘whole village’ surrounding the birth event, including both helpful and unhelpful characters. Some sought to bless and be blessed by the Christ child, like the shepherds and the wise men. Some had an evil agenda behind seeking this child, like King Herod.
We all have heard much about the strength of Mary, the woman who bore Jesus. However, the wo/men who stood by Mary throughout her pregnancy after her decision to have the baby knowing that it could bring her shame and dishonour, were the ‘significant others’ who made it all possible. Elizabeth, her cousin, and Joseph, her betrothed, were particularly significant in this sense.
Right at the start of her pregnancy, it was Joseph, to whom she was betrothed, who first acknowledged Mary’s right over her own body and her choice to have a child that was not of his blood. Even if it may be fear of God that prompted such a progressive decision in a man of that generation, just that alone could not have been enough for what it would take for Joseph to stand by Mary until the birth of the promised son through all the trials they faced (Matthew 1:18–25; Luke 1:26–27; 2:5; Matt 2:13-23). Joseph truly believed in Mary. Beyond love, he respected her decision as an individual, a woman, and a mother. Joseph did not see Mary as a mere progenitor of his line, which was the prevalent male mindset of his time. He dared to interrupt that toxic masculine thinking to decide: “I will stand by this woman who has the faith to believe in a vision from an angel and the courage to stand against a whole society that may kill her for what she believes and is embarking on in carrying the child in her womb!” Joseph had the humility to stand by Mary as a partner in the best sense of the word.
When Mary’s doubts probably clouded her mind after the initial exuberance of the angel’s visit, and her courage was flagging, her visit to her cousin Elizabeth affirmed her decision to have the baby (Luke 1: 39-45). Cousins are a special bond – friends and family wrapped in one. And to have an older cousin who was already living proof of what it meant to defy societal expectations of motherhood, would have been especially empowering for the young Mary. Most of us who have been blessed with cousins who are also our best friends will understand what a privilege this is. The strength that having older cousin sisters who will not only protect and nurture you, but also push you to be more than you think you are, is indeed significant. Elizabeth believed in the vision of Mary even when Mary was probably having second thoughts. That is what ‘significant others’ do for us.
This Christmas let us give thanks for the many ‘significant others.’ Let this Christmas be a time to also remind us to be such ‘significant others’ to others. Being the strength behind Mary, like Joseph was, and being that push for Mary, as Elizabeth was – takes maturity and discernment. Let us become such influences in the lives of those seeking to live out their calling.
Let this Christmas be a time to also remind us to be such ‘significant others’ to those around us.
Let us respect the choices of others in our lives – be they family, friends, students, youth, or children. Let us interrupt social conditioning to not just love them, but believe in their choices and respect them for who they are and wish to become. Let us give thanks for our ‘significant others’ and let us be such who empower others in our lives!
Wishing you all a meaningful Christmas and a blessed new year.
Jessica Richard
President – ATTWI